I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
