I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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