bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
