therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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