dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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