I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
