i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
