so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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