you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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