well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
