I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize