Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
