So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
