youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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