ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
