it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
