i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Are my feet made of real feet?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
