Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
