I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
