Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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