i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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