that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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