So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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