She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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