you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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