i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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