If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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