I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
