New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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