It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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