is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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