using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
