i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize