so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
