it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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