I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
