Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize