talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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