She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
