HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
