I got chris browned last night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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