so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
