You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
