what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize