how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
