I'm lost and stupid without you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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