Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I FOUND THE LEGS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
