what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
