You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
