I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
