How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
