We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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