Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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