Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
