I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
