I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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