Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize