They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
