I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
