is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
