my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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